2008-06-07 Sibling and Events

In the beginning, all the children were too young to stay home alone and all of them went with us everywhere. They all came with when we went house-hunting, when one needed to go to the doctor, when one had ballet or swimming or scouts. They all came with when one child was performing or being awarded in a ceremony. They all came with to the grocery store every time, which involved each of them asking for several things along the way and constant bargaining as to which items they could and could not add to the cart.

As time went on, this changed. Three of the four reached an age at which they could be left home alone for short and then longer periods of time and then in charge of younger siblings. This meant the parents could shop for groceries or curtains or furniture or a new car without bringing the whole gang along. This meant that the parents could focus on the performance or honor a child was receiving without the distraction of the younger children who had no choice but to join us. This meant the parents could go out to dinner or a movie by themselves (if there were ever a free spot on the calendar to do so).

But this also meant that each child was less a part of the things going on in each other’s lives and more used to being able to do whatever they wanted to do instead.

There have been dozens of activities and events that this school year alone and it’s safe to say that most of the siblings have chosen to stay away from most of these events.

We made the decision that the entire family would attend this month’s high school graduation together because this is a milestone event. We lucked out when Waubonsie Valley’s graduation ticket allocation was increased from four to five per family allowing all of us to attend. I decided that it made sense for all of us to attend one event for each of the children in May, and there were plenty to choose from.

The entire family saw my son perform in “Annie” at Granger Middle School, an absolutely fantastic performance that was not at all appreciated by one daughter who would rather have been anywhere else. The following week we all went to the Waubonsie Valley orchestra’s annual pops concert “Epic Journeys of Hollywood” where that same daughter performed and we were treated to movie music from several well-known movies. There were over two hundred performers and this was an enjoyable and impressive evening. Next weekend we will all attend my youngest daughter’s first Irish Dance concert.

This past Sunday the six of us went out to brunch and then attended WV’s graduation held at College of DuPage. This was a formal and well-attended event in which all of the speakers were excellent. I am so proud of the achievements of the students in this class of 2008 and I will truly miss those who have spent so much time at our house in recent months. Over eight hundred names were read in a very short time (with too much disrespectful noise and behavior out of some families) and the entire ceremony went by much too quickly.

Despite the fact that none of the kids really seem to value this chance to be a part of the lives of the others I believe it’s for the best and will be less lax in the future about allowing them to all skip every event.

While I hope that we all get something of lasting value from these shared experiences, I will still enjoy my trips to the grocery store by myself.